DRL Echobox

TV in America created the most coherent reality distortion field that I’ve ever seen. Therein is the problem: People who vote watch TV, and they are hallucinating like a sonofabitch. Basically, what we have in this country is government by hallucinating mob. - John Perry Barlow

went to a local hipster hang-out tonight with greg and sonya. the first band made loud, unpredictable, jarring noises, that seemed to function only as a barrier to entry for this undersized venue. they were darph/nader, and all the way from california.

the next band, nequamquam vacuum, made me happy, because they shared my love of banging on regular metal objects (even a kitchen sink!) in a rythmic fashion, with clarinet, bass synth, and hand drums. the made me uncomfortable, because they shared my propensity to sing in a furtive manner, when unsure of myself, as if making real notes would be dangerous, on the chance that someone might hear them. i find that i'm often made uncomfortable when people display traits that i don't like in myself. or when characters in sitcoms do something stupid, that everyone in the audience can see is dumb, but that they can't.

the dunes, where dudes wear black pinstripe vests, with black (or is it koal?) eye makeup. where chicks wear black shirts with burgundy sweaters. where other dudes wear other black stuff. different kinds of black. i wore denim on denim. call me chris.

went to a local hipster hang-out tonight with greg and sonya. the first band made loud, unpredictable, jarring noises, that seemed to function only as a barrier to entry for this undersized venue. they were darph/nader, and all the way from california.

the next band, nequamquam vacuum, made me happy, because they shared my love of banging on regular metal objects (even a kitchen sink!) in a rythmic fashion, with clarinet, bass synth, and hand drums. the made me uncomfortable, because they shared my propensity to sing in a furtive manner, when unsure of myself, as if making real notes would be dangerous, on the chance that someone might hear them. i find that i'm often made uncomfortable when people display traits that i don't like in myself. or when characters in sitcoms do something stupid, that everyone in the audience can see is dumb, but that they can't.

the dunes, where dudes wear black pinstripe vests, with black (or is it koal?) eye makeup. where chicks wear black shirts with burgundy sweaters. where other dudes wear other black stuff. different kinds of black. i wore denim on denim. call me chris.

had fun in forest grove, at The Grand Lodge. amy and i drove out on monday, got into the hot pool, with the old man who was there, looking brokenhearted. then drinks & dinner (she looked so glamorous) and the next day, mushrooms - not bunk, but definitely not potent. and more pool, and kids running around, and green grass and etc. and good massage and now i feel a little relaxed. a good way to spend a weekend.

i'm settling in, mostly slowly, but every once in a while, a quick ker-thunk as i settle. and this might be during a time of inactivity. viz: last night i reclined in the cubby, read stephenson's Diamond Age, and listened to Matmos and Y.A.C.H.T.

and kerthunk, i was more settled. then today, a walk to Fred Meyer for toothpaste and razor blades produced run ins with Minna, Meghan, and Jonah. wow fun! i invited them to Shuana's party, woo hoo!

so i'm here, being back, i guess, or is it here finally, returned, or arrived. whatev. but now i've got to figure out how i fit into this world. specifically, this house, the bathroom, where to put my stuff? more generally, this city, the people, the ones i know and the ones i will know. and also, Sedna, the dog, what are the specific dog care instructions? i accidentally left the door open, but she didn't run away.

where do i put my speakers? always the first question on my mind in a new place. but this time i have the considerations of others to hold in account. all in good time... and do i want to talk to job havers about giving me one just yet? they might need me to start tomorrow, and i'm not ready to start until tuesday or wednesday. blah blah.

my bathing suit area is sore from overuse. what would you expect?

had trout, corn, fancy rice, and chinese eggplant and tiny yellow squash tonight with mom, dad, and debbie. we talked about the government, amy, baby pictures, microbiology, midwifery, and austin. debbie drank red wine, and was surprised my parents weren't more hippies. of course seeing debz was a treat - she's always been a little mysterious to me, and my parents are good at asking people about themselves, so i usually learn about my friends more from listening to my parents talk to them than i would just from hanging out.

and my mom only cried a little bit, when she said goodnight. earlier today i said goodbye to grandma, after helping her with her email, and now i'm gonna be able to write her of my adventures. i wonder how she'll feel about how i don't really Capitalize.

nap time.

so last night after zach left the restaurant, and it was just sarah and i - boom! - everyone walked in the door. i had the ex-mayor at one table, my grandma at another, and some more people outside. all over the place i ran, and they just kept coming in the door. i remember being behind the bar, making a vodka tonic, when i realized the best thing to do in the situation would be to not use my brain. eventually things cooled down, as they always do, and i even got to eat a big-ole plate of seafood enchiladas at the table with my family. yum.

then i was clearing some plates when - Boom! (again) - i got smacked upside the head with a giant pie plate of whipped cream. sticky icky icky. and then my dad was taking pictures and i was being cleaned up, but it was a wild way to end a wild night - my last night - at a usually staid job. maybe i'll post some of my dad's pictures.

i should be getting in the shower, and out of the shower, and into the car, and to the restaurant, for my big last day. ten to twelve hours of fun, excitement, mimosas, and Summy! the most leisurely manager. but instead i'm taking my time with my orange juice and coffee - my computer's clock is already on pacific time, giving me the illusion of hours to go.

in fact it is days to go, and the number one thing i am looking forward to, is the generally less frantic pace of life i can look forward to in the town where it seems a large percentage of people are under the impression that life is for living. maybe i'll spend some time walking to the park in the AM. (i like my west-bound soul-delay self the best, all early rising and surprised by the clean air with each breath.)

time for me to concentrate on my coffee, shower, driving, the pork medallions, etc.

last yesterday (before i slept) i went to grandma's house to set up her new iBook. she'd already un-boxed it, so all i had to do was plug it in and turn it on. grandma typed in her own registration information, and in the process got a little more mouse practice. then, her neighbor's wireless was close enough for access, so we read some news and set the display for her.

slick, slick, slick, the new Apple computers set right up, no trouble at all, totally unlike the XP installation i just went through on the Vaio. but, yes, now i'm running a modern memory-protected OS just like the big-boys. i've even got iTunes.

there is a particular brand of Texas cicada, that makes sound so loud, i often wonder - is that one insect? it is a buzzing sound that starts quiet, and over the course of about 10 seconds, swells to a neighborhood-encompassing loudness, dropping off suddenly into a cascade of echos. one bug?

food sex

i've been reading the scientific literature lately. they've managed to wire paralyzed cockroaches to remote control cars, and let the roaches drive. you can also do the reverse - drive a cockroach by remote control.

hayden and i envision wars of robots with 4 saw blades and a flamethrower, all controlled by cockroach brains.

but seriously, i read Eye In The Sky by PKD, and it messed me up a little. more than any other of his books in a long time, maybe i'm ready for it again.

"The Man Who Japed" is probably my favorite of the recently released ones. to jape: to make fun of an insatirizable subject. to mock the president of oceania, would be to jape him. in the book, or protagonist vandalizes a statue of a revered general. the people are greatly moved.

simple actions, with political resonance. sonny, at the end of i, robot giving freedom to the other positrons.

freedom to the cockroach brains!@!!!

i breathe it all in
until there's nothing left
until i freeze the oceans
and breathe up all the rest.

for the people cry and cry
and the people gasp for air
and the people beg and plead
for me to let it all out.

sub-concious dream
sung it @ the bank
also, work as a missing-time "abduction"

C.

Mr. Benjamin Vanderford resides in San Francisco. He stated he was sad of the passing of the establishment that was previously at the property which was one of the better video arcades in the city. He added the city was losing arcades, which were one of the only options for 18 and under entertainment in the area.

from MINUTES OF THE City and County of San Francisco Entertainment Commission
May 18, 2004 REGULAR MEETING
City Hall, Room 406

since arriving in austin, i've usually stepped willingly into the role of mediator between my parents, when they've come to arguing. tonight though, i just got up and left the dinner table, dishes be damned. the difference i think is that while usually when they fight, it's one or the other of them being unreasonable, tonight it was both. instead of running interference, i just voted - no quorum. if they want to fight, well, i won't be an enabler.

it was understandable, their behavior- both had long days of hard work. they both get irritable when overworked; tonight they were both overtired and irritable. amy tells me it's not my responsibility to keep the peace, but part of me feels that it's something i'd do for any good friend. or maybe the friendlier thing to do would not be anything at all- stay out of the way, let chips fall as they may. in any case, that is how things will be in only a little over a week.

portland is looking sweeter and sweeter. miranda today asked if i was excited, and i said, 'yes'. miranda is someone i will miss. it's as though expressing to my friends here by way of parting, their value to me- it's almost impossible to begin, so i don't.

i gave myself a pat on the back this morning as i was having my cereal, orange juice, and coffee on the back porch overlooking the ravine. it's hard to express exactly why i felt i could use it. but to compare myself of the course of my time in austin - i feel as though i've made great practical strides - toward making my life the one i want to live, toward making myself capable of living that life, and toward a greater understanding of what it is i'm striving for.

struggling with the infinite is something we all do everyday, in-between our breaths and the bright sunshine and the storms. i think i strive to make myself a life, instead of merely taking what comes to me, because the pleasure of idleness pales against all others. why not work? and given our minds, to direct our work, why not do good work?

and epicurus' argument against the fear of death: if death is annihilation, says Epicurus, then it is 'nothing to us.' if death is bad, for whom is it bad? not for the living, since they're not dead, and not for the dead, since they don't exist. so why fear death, since it can cause no pain?

so i'm working on hank's cd tracklist right now, and i said goodbye to jason at the granite this morning. and i plan to get to bed early tonight, so i can wake up tomorrow and get things done. (such an easy thing)

this sign graces the highway here in denison texas, ancestral homeland of both myself and dwight d. aka "ike". and clinton, too, for that matter.

today was long. by 9:30 me, dad, and steve were at the mediation, with k, k, and k - dad and steve's cousins, and partners in the project to turn an east texas swamp into a hot subdivision. on the table: how to keep from getting at each other's throats over small unrelated sums, so that as a group we could work toward success in the bigger picture. the result - more than we'd hoped for, both in hours in the conference room and in accomplishments. the best part - these cousins might get to be friends again.

at 6:30 or so we left the mediator's office and went to visit some old property (which had been the subject of some discussion) and it's view of the lake and the dam papa john had helped to build. after some looking about for another old lakehouse, no longer in the family, and some talk about liquor, we stopped in to see baby Dylan.

six-month-old dylan could be mistaken for a two year old, both for his size and his intelligent gaze, but for that he's still learning to crawl. he enjoys putting most things in his mouth, like my dad's glasses and the ribbon from the being-born present i got him. also, i met julia's husband ryan, who seems like a good dad and a nice guy to have around, but we didn't get to talk much.

i did get to hold the baby, until he cried. it was the only time he cried while we were there. aside from that, i think he liked me, 'cause he was always smiling when he looked at me. maybe i need to practice my baby holding.

i'm out of the apartment aka the hotel reno and i'm firmly in never-never land. i feel a little like i've left austin (right this minute i don't really care if i see lots of these austin people ever again - but i think i might just be tired from work.) two more weeks of this stuff and i'm there.

two weeks is hard to conceptualize, until you draw a little calendar and look at the days on it, and write down what shifts you're working, and then think about packing & shipping.

i'd thought about doing a long "retrospective" post about all the wonderful things i experienced and the friends i've made that will change my life forever. mmm, not so much. at least not right now.